Warning – Chopper is heading to Christchurch in June. The Last Hard Bastard on Earth pauses between dirty deeds to talk about guilt, heroes and style.

What’s the best advice your mum ever gave you?

Don’t trust mum.

What’s your favourite guilty pleasure?

Going to court and saying I’m not guilty when I’m clearly very guilty, I enjoy that every single time. Ah, drinking a beer in the shower’s pretty good. Knocking people off their e-scooter when they’re in full corporate attire. Also a good source of Apple air pods as well. Shoplifting a seagull into a food court... 

Hardly guilty, really. I guess you don’t feel a lot of guilt.

No, not really. It depends who I’m doing something to, you know.

You’re given three wishes – what are they?

Number 1, turn off the internet. Number 2, no more Kardashians. Number 3, celebrate with a nice cold beer.

What’s your favourite song?

One that’s been on high rotation for 20 years or so, ‘Pulled Along by Love’, the single version, by The Mutton Birds. The one with the big snare.

Favourite item in your wardrobe?

I like a nice, crisp, eggshell-blue polo and a nice pair of navy-blue cotton tracksuit pants. Can’t go wrong with that. Once you’re on to a winning formula, just stick to it.

Who’s your personal hero?

Steve Irwin would be up there, mucking around with dangerous stuff until it all goes wrong.

You’re known as something of a style influencer – if you could give the world one fashion tip, what would it be?

Get a moustache. Get two if you can. If it’s a handlebar, your significant other has got something to hang on to.

I can’t leave the house without …

Probably my dogs – they give me that forlorn look if they think I’m leaving them behind. Probably have a knife tucked into my sports sock. With a combination of dogs and a knife there’s not much you can’t get through. 

Have you got dangerous dogs?

Yeah, I’ve got a big dobermann pinscher and a little miniature pinscher as well. The big one’s called Tiny and the little one Colossus.